- Teacher Feedback
WWW:
- Very well written first draft. Fluent and engaged
- Excellent introduction and contextualizing of text
- Very wide range of audience theories used intelligently with good references
- All theories outlines and explained + with references
- Excellent, very well referenced bibliography
- Make sure your footnotes are all the same size
- A bit more close textual analysis needed to explain how the representations are constructed
- Need to cover institution- details of the programme, its production, success, audience and ratings
- When discussing Walter Whites character role, consider anti-hero as a concept
- More needed on the tabloid media (with examples) of their moral panics about Breaking Bad
- Student Feedback
WWW:
- good writing style and use of audience theory
- good use of quotes and theories allowing sentences to flow
- Great use of SHEP. Social and economic factors is a strong point and also references are great
- There is clear links to theory here
- You use a good amount of theory and touch upon representation
- followed the structure of a bibliography well
EBI:
- check some basic spelling issues and grammar in sentences
- more references of media language, mise-en-scene and institutions
- more historical context needed
- consider challenging there theories with either your own perspective or another theory
- add a theory which links to Dexter and the effect on its audience
- include theorist names
- add more on stereotypes- Dyer
- Include more publisher details in the bibliography
I aim to achieve a grade between 43-45 in my second draft
Plan of action
- Amend errors in terms of structure of the essay and paragraph spacing, also the fonts used for the foot notes and correct capital letters in sentences.
- re-draft the paragraphs on my historical text including new book quotes comparing it to another text in a similar time period, mention zeitgeist.
- talk about the institution that produced Breaking Bad and include the economic context for BB
- look at more theories involving reception and representation
- add to conclusion
- add more on narrative and character theory
- conduct more research, adding more books to the bibliography and works consulted
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